Please Do Not Feed The Zombies
by Bandicoot Sauce
Summary: Ah, that Rottytops... She annoys the heck out of poor Shantae, and yet, the half-genie hero never fails to find the undead troublemaker somewhat endearing. Witness their love/hate friendship in these tales. Reviews are loved, by the way.
1. Stopping By For A Coffee

**Please Do Not Feed The Zombies**

**This is my first attempt at a _Shantae_ fanfic, so please, go easy on me. I don't know much about the series, but I'll try my best. Enjoy!**

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><p><span>1: Stopping By For A Coffee<span>

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother…" Shantae muttered to herself as she walked along the swamp path, which was dark, creepy and somewhat murky. Ominous-looking birds cawed from all sides, glaring at the half-genie hero from their perches with piercing red eyes. Cobwebs hung from every dead tree and things slithered in and out of the coarse bushes.

What was the hero of Sequinland doing in a place like this? Meeting someone, of course. A friend of hers - if 'friend' could be considered the correct term - had requested that she meet her in the dead of night in this bone-chillingly scary section of the most morbid and foreboding woods imaginable. Nothing suspicious about that. Totally legit for sure. Shantae wouldn't have come if anyone else had asked for her.

And yet, she still felt that she shouldn't have come here. She had reached that notion before she'd even left her hometown.

Shantae reached the clearing where a horse-drawn wagon was parked next to a body of black water. No, it wasn't just the darkness; the water in this swamp was actually black. The undead horse that pulled the wagon stood by the pool of water, lapping at the cool substance with its rotting tongue, but other than that, nothing moved. The clearing was much quieter than the rest of the swamp. Too quiet. It made Shantae's hair stand on end, but her purple 'do was still ready to whip at anything that moved.

Something leapt out of the darkness and crash-tackled Shantae to the ground. The half-genie shrieked, her magical hair lashing out at her attacker.

"Ow! That was my nose!" a voice whined, a familiar voice.

Shantae groaned and pushed Rottytops off of her. The zombie girl, who's skin was a sickly green colour, pouted at the hero, who folded her arms and glared at Rottytops disapprovingly.

"I knew I should've known better than to trust you." Shantae declared. "You have a one track mind."

"What do you mean?" Rottytops demanded. "And why did you whip me in the face? I may be a zombie, but that still hurts, you know!"

"You were trying to eat my brains!"

"What? No! I was just playing! I thought it would be funny to sneak up on you and scare the living daylights out of ya!" the zombie insisted, giving a toothy grin. Shantae wasn't buying it, though. She knew Rottytops all too well.

"Then what _do_ you want, Rotty?" Shantae asked. "If you didn't drag me all the way out here to eat my brains, then what's up?"

"I need you to taste this coffee I made." Rottytops said, suddenly producing a steaming mug of brown liquid seemingly out of nowhere. Shantae gazed at it, raising an eyebrow.

"Seriously?" she asked. "Why don't you just taste it yourself? What do need _me_ for?"

"Because it's a magical brew that I've been working on in my spare time. I'm trying to create a new coffee to sell in the shop that's so delicious, people will pay anything for it."

"And you need me to taste it because…"

Rottytops smiled sheepishly. "It may or may not be poisonous to the living. We have to keep all possible customers in consideration. I can just see my brother's reaction if someone drops dead at the counter, wakes up as a zombie and then refuses to pay for the coffee. He'll scream me stupid."

Shantae sighed. "What am I going to do with you, Rotty?" she said, exasperated. "Honestly, what?"

"Love me, adore me, let me eat your brains…" Rottytops said, trailing off with a lighthearted, dreamy expression on her face. "Whichever one of those things I listed last."

Shantae rolled her eyes. "Maybe I can dilute the poison with my magic." she said to herself. "Okay, fine." she declared, snatching the mug from the troublesome zombie. "Down the hatch." She drained the mug and swallowed, waiting, savouring the aftertaste. It tasted like normal coffee with a hint of chocolate and possibly caramel. She tilted her head, trying to determine if anything might be wrong with it. Rottytops watched her with anticipation.

"Well?" the zombie girl asked, finally unable to stand the suspense any longer.

"It's fine." Shantae confirmed. "And quite good, actually."

"Oh. Okay, then." Rottytops said, taking the cup back. "I actually feel kind of silly now for bringing you into this."

"Just stay out of trouble for me, okay?" Shantae pleaded. "Please. I have enough on my mind, what with Risky Boots still at large and all that."

"Shantae, I promise I'll never bother you again…"

"I wish I could believe that."

"…If you let me eat your brains."

"And there it is." Shantae concluded, shaking her head. "You'll never change, will you?"

"That's why everybody loves me!" Rottytops chirped, smiling meekly. Shantae hated that. Rottytops seemed to have a million different ways to smile and every one of them was adorable. Whenever Shantae saw the zombie girl smile, she felt her annoyance fade away and her mood softened. She couldn't stay mad at Rottytops and yet, the very fact that she couldn't stay mad at Rottytops drove the half-genie mad, if that made any sense. She turned, flicked her long purple ponytail over her shoulder and started to stride away. Rottytops smiled after her. Shantae could feel the smile. She let out an irritated growl which Rottytops heard, and the zombie girl burst out laughing.

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><p><strong>Woo! Not over! Woo! Stay tuned for more half-genie hijinks!<strong>

**Oh, and what do you guys think of my story so far? Not bad for someone who hasn't played any of the games, am I right? There's a review box just over there. Don't be shy. Leave a review! Do me that honour and I won't eat your brains.**


	2. The Rain of Terror

**Note: this chapter was inspired by the E3 trailer for **_Shantae and the Pirate's Curse_**. It shows a scene where Shantae is carrying Rottytops through heavy rainfall. And that pretty much spoils this whole chapter, now that I think about it. Anyways, enjoy.**

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><p><span>2: The Rain of Terror<span>

Thunder rumbled. The wind howled. The rain poured. The storm was just awful. Lightning flashed in the sky and Rottytops' eyes widened. She gasped. "That one was close." she muttered. "HEY!" she called, her voice drowned out somewhat by the wind. "CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?"

It was no good. She was all alone out here on this desolate graveyard path. It seemed creepy even for an undead habitat. Even with the deafening wind and rain, the zombie girl could hear the unsettling scraping sounds that gave even her the creeps. She shivered, both from cold and fear, and wrapped her arms around her chest. It was times like this that made her wish she had chosen a more practical form of clothing than her favourite tattered bikini and torn shorts.

"Oh, what a place to trip and sprain my ankle." she moaned. "I didn't think zombies _could_ sprain their ankles. At least, not painfully." She then chuckled sadly. "Fastest zombie on dry land. Ha! If Shantae could see me now."

At the thought of the half-genie hero, Rottytops shed a tear in spite of herself. She didn't want to admit it, but she could really use a hero right now…

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><p>Shantae was relaxing at the bath house in Scuttle Town, done with her patrol for the day. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment, letting herself sink into the sauna up to her neck. She had let her hair down and was welcome to it. With all the whipping she used it for, it was essential that she rejuvenate it like this every once in a while, to say nothing of rejuvenating her entire being…<p>

Shantae suddenly became aware of another presence in the bath house; she had very acute hearing. She opened one eye and watched as a spider drifted down on a strand of web and began to build a full sized web near the wall.

"Isn't that one of those Chit Chat Spiders…?" Shantae wondered aloud as she watched the arachnid go about its work. It soon had a hexagonal web constructed and began tugging at the silk strands as though they were violin strings. Shantae gasped - the spider was relaying a message via the World Wide Web; a method of communication used by zombies. It was kind of similar to a telegram.

"Okay, let me see…" Shantae mused, listening to the spider's gentle tugs intently. "Uh… 'Rottytops missing. Stop. Last seen near area now riddled with stormy weather. Stop. May be in danger. Stop. Please send help from any available source. Stop.' In danger?" she repeated, sounding both annoyed and suspicious. On one hand, this could be another one of Rottytops' schemes to try and eat Shantae's brains. On the other hand, Rottytops definitely had a knack for finding trouble, as Shantae knew all too well. She stood up, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest; even spiders could be perverts at times. "This better not be a trick." she warned the spider, to which it replied 'I'm just the messenger. Stop.' in string tugs.

Against her better judgement, Shantae got dressed, tied her hair back and hurried out of the bath house. She jogged out of the village and performed the mystical dance that would transform her into a purple monkey. Once that was done, she raced off into the wilderness on all fours.

_'Oh, the things I do for that Rotty.'_ she thought to herself as she hurried along.

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><p>Rottytops was actually cowering. She had never been particularly afraid of storms, but she had never actually been caught in one before. For her, it was a new and terrifying experience. The rain had soaked her to the skin, the thunder was constant and extremely loud and worst of all, the lightning was rapidly getting closer. The zombie girl let a small sob escape her, tucking her head into her chest, assuming the crash position.<p>

A ground-shaking bout of thunder rang out and Rottytops screamed, trembling all over. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she cried, making no attempt to stem the flow. She had never been so frightened in her un-life. She had never felt so helpless. The worst part was that she knew no one was coming to help her. She was stuck here with a sprained ankle, likely to be blasted apart by lightning at any moment. She wailed in despair.

"Rotty! _Rotty!_ Where are you?"

Rottytops gasped. Had she heard someone's voice on the wind? She decided that she had imagined it.

"Rotty!"

There it was again. Rottytops looked up and glanced around, letting out another gasp when she saw the very wet purple monkey scurrying up to her. It stopped before her and, with small pop, turned into-

"SHANTAE!" Rottytops shrieked in disbelief.

"Rotty, what the _hell_ are you doing out here?!" the half-genie demanded, her words barely audible over another crash of thunder.

"I… I've sprained my ankle!" the zombie cried. "I can't walk!"

Shantae let out a frustrated sigh, not that it could be heard. "Alright, hang on!" she shouted over the roar of the wind. She scooped up Rottytops and, showing surprising strength, began to run through the rain with the zombie girl in her arms. "You owe me big time!" the hero declared as she went. Rottytops just clung to her, shivering nonstop.

Shantae suddenly cried out in alarm as a rotting green hand suddenly burst out of the ground and grabbed at her ankle. She dodged it narrowly and kept going. More hands broke the soil's surface and attempted to grab the half-genie's ankles. Rottytops saw what was going on and exclaimed in alarm.

A hand successfully caught hold of Shantae and she instantly went down, Rottytops flying out of her arms and landing painfully on the ground. Another hand grabbed Shantae's other ankle and started to pull. They were trying to drag her down with them! Shantae clicked her fingers, trying to summon a flame in her hand to fight with, but the heavy rainfall made this impossible. The hero began to panic.

"Rotty!" she cried desperately as her feet sank into the ground, more hands grabbing her and pulling her down. Rottytops just looked at her, not sure what to do, what she _should_ do, what she _could_ do. As a zombie, she cared little for the living. They were just vessels to carry her food in their skulls. And yet, as Shantae slowly began to disappear into the ground, staring at Rottytops so pleadingly… The zombie girl swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat. If the half-genie hadn't come along, Rottytops would still be trapped out here…

Before she even realised what she was doing, Rottytops began to drag herself over to Shantae. The zombie girl grabbed hold of one of the undead hands, lined her mouth up with the vile thing and bit it savagely. The hand screeched in spite of having no mouth and retreated underground. Rottytops grabbed another hand and bit it, causing it to flee. The other hands got the message and took off, allowing Shantae to pull herself out of the muddy ground. She was a mess, but she was alive. She scooped up Rottytops again and ran, filled with more determination than ever. Rottytops could have sworn she even saw fire in the brave half-genie's eyes. More hands tried to grab the hero, but she actually leapt over them in spite of the weight of the zombie girl in her arms. There was no stopping her now. She wouldn't rest until she and her friend reached safety.

Her friend… _Friend_…

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><p>Rottytops awoke with a small moan. She had passed out still in Shantae's arms. She blinked up at her surroundings, her vision slowly coming back into focus. She was surprised to find herself in her wagon of a home, but not as surprised as she was to see Shantae sitting beside her bed, watching the zombie girl with utmost concern.<p>

"How come you're still here?" Rottytops asked softly. "You got me to safety, so…"

"I stay until those who I care about are recovered." Shantae said gently.

Rottytops blinked. "You… care about me?"

"I tried to help you, and then you tried to help me. You were actually worried about me, Rotty."

"I… What? No, no, you're mistaken." Rottytops insisted. "I just needed you to get me out of the rain."

"No." Shantae said firmly. "In my moment of plight, you genuinely cared for me, genuinely wanted to help me. I could feel it. Only a true friend could radiate such an energy. So I stayed with you after I got you home. I bandaged your leg and made sure you were comfortable, made sure you were okay, as I daresay you would've done for me."

Rottytops just stared at Shantae, a number of thoughts going through her undead head. Shantae got up and floded her arms, smiling down at the zombie girl.

"Will you be okay if I leave you alone?"

"Can I eat your brains?"

Shantae smirked. "In other words, yes." she concluded, turning and starting for the door of the wagon. She stepped outside and as she went to close the door behind her, she glanced back at Rottytops, who smiled at her. She didn't seem to be aware that she was smiling, but it wasn't one of her mischievous, cute smiles. It was genuine.

"No, seriously, can I eat your brains? I'm starving."

Shantae closed the door and walked away, shaking her head and chuckling to herself.

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><p><strong>Not a lot of humour in this chapter I know, but I think I'm really building on the friendship of Shantae and Rotty. Yeah, I think I'll just write her name as 'Rotty' from now on. I'm getting a little tired of spelling the whole word out every time. Stay tuned for more.<strong>


	3. Another Day, Another Belly Dance

**While I am fairly proud of this story, even if it's a little Rotty- err, I mean rusty, I'm thinking of starting something new, something crazy that'll carry on this story's legacy…**

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><p><span>3: Another Day, Another Belly Dance<span>

"Where the heck is Rotty today?" Abner demanded, glancing around the boathouse he and his brother Poe were hiding out in. The older brother kneeled down and activated the repaired coffee maker Shantae had recovered for them.

"She's probably hanging out in the darkest part of the forest again. You know what she's like, that sister of ours." Poe said dismissively, gazing at the whirring coffee machine, licking his rotting zombie lips with his rough, dry tongue. "Oh, I hope you didn't forget to add the rotten egg. That's what really gives the coffee a zing!"

Abner nodded. "And this time, it won't be one of those 'chick drinks' like that latte Shantae gave us." he declared. "It'll be a MAN'S coffee, made by dudes,_for_ dudes!"

Poe's only response was to drool with anticipation as he watched the vulgar caffeinated concoction mix and bubble.

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><p>The macabre carriage drawn by the skeletal horse moved quickly along the dark path, going over a bump and causing Rotty to grunt at the unwelcome jolt as she tried to fix her make-up. She still couldn't believe she was doing this, but then, friendship was a strange thing.<p>

Rotty had been surprised when Sky's pet bird Wrench had wrapped on her window with his sharp beak, a letter clutched in his talons. She had been even more surprised when she saw that the letter was an invitation from Shantae, encouraging the zombie girl to come to Scuttle Town for what the half-genie had hastily written as 'dinner and a show'.

Letters were rather alien objects to Rotty, for she generally relied on the World Wide Web and her Chit Chat Spiders for communication. Still, she had been intrigued by Shantae's offer. The half-genie must really consider her worthy of her time. That, or the hero didn't want to be indebted to Rotty for the help she had given Shantae recently. Or something like that. Rotty didn't pretend to understand it, but she knew this much: a free meal was a free meal… even if it was hardly likely to be poached genie brains with a rotten egg latte on the side.

As the carriage made it's way out of the woods and onto the peaceful-looking moonlit road, Rotty could hear crickets chirping and could smell the ocean on the breeze; she was starting to draw close to the port that was Scuttle Town. She wondered what the local populace's reactions would be when her less-than-appealing set of wheels rattled and squeaked its way into the village. She also wondered what the local populace's brains tasted like, and if Shantae would notice if one or two people went missing.

"Nah. Not tonight. Not if she invited me personally." the zombie girl decided. "She'd be ready to put a stop to that for sure."

The carriage came to a stop outside Scuttle Down's dance hall, and Rotty opened the side door, poking her head out cautiously. A number of locals gazed at her. Some looked awed, others somewhat frightened. Children hid behind their parents' backs and peeked out nervously. Women in fancy outfits and strong looking sailors stared unblinking at the carriage and it's lone inhabitant as Rotty stepped out and closed the door cautiously. She instantly felt that she was not welcome here. Even without her reputation as a troublemaker and one of the Cadaver siblings, she was an usual sight to behold. With her untidy jade green hair, skull earrings, sunken red eyes, rather revealing and tattered outfit, green skin and the very noticeable stitches that held together both halves of her left arm and right leg, she was a unique mix of grotesque and, despite her sickly flesh, strangely attractive. She put on a nervous smile and tried a feeble wave to appear friendly. It didn't do much in regards to the eerie silence broken only by a light breeze and the gentle rustle of a tumbleweed rolling by. After a few moments, whispers began to break out.

"A zombie? here?"

"What do you think it wants?"

"Nothing but trouble, that's for sure."

Rotty's smile faded. Being referred to as 'it' was very disheartening, even for someone who did not possess a beating heart. She hung her head sadly.

"I think she's kind of pretty." a little girl piped up suddenly. "Like a mermaid dressed for Halloween."

"Her eyes are like eerie, mystical rubies." another child added.

"Maybe she's a good zombie."

"A zombie fairy."

"She _is_ kind of cool looking, I guess." a young man said with a shrug.

"I wonder if she has a spare set of skull earrings she doesn't need…" a teenage girl mused.

"What the heck; I like her!" someone said from the back of the crowd.

A few people applauded politely, much to Rotty's surprise. She beamed, her bright smile showing that she was missing a few teeth.

"Just look at her! A good head on her shoulders. She's not gonna let a less-than-friendly reception scare her away. She's got spirit!"

"Yeah! The zombie girl's alright!"

"SHE'S HOT!"

Every head in the crowd turned to see Bolo standing there. He suddenly went bright red, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"What?" he asked.

Feeling more confident, Rotty locked the carriage door and headed into the dance hall, her head held high. She was impressed by how exquisite the dining area looked. For a small seaside village, the people of Scuttle Town had good taste. She chose a table somewhere in the middle of the room and sat, browsing the menu while looking up at the stage every now and then. It was deserted at present, but judging by how many people were gradually coming into the restaurant, she was certain that the show would be starting soon. Sure enough, just as she had polished off the plate of fleshly caught fish and organic potatoes she had ordered, the lights in the room dimmed save for the spotlights on the stage, which became the centre of attention. The mayor stood in at the front of the room, just below the stage, looking as dopey as ever in his silly turban, his squeaky voice ever-present.

"And now, the main event!" he chirped, his annoying voice carrying surprisingly far. "If you're a resident of our fair town, you know how impressive she is on stage, and if you're from afar, you're in for a new definition of 'treat'! I present to you the hero of Sequinland and guardian genie of Scuttle Town: our very own… SHANTAE!"

The crowd applauded as the half-genie who needs no introduction made her way out onto the stage. She stood motionless in the centre of the stage before suddenly whipping her hair, the action producing a very loud and realistic whip-cracking sound that made a few people sitting at the tables closest to the stage flinch, both startled and quite awed.

"She sure knows how to control that hair of hers." someone whispered from a table near Rotty's. "How does she _do_ it?"

Now that Rotty thought about it, that was a fair question. How _did_ Shantae whip her hair like that? The zombie girl shrugged, deciding that some things weren't worth questioning.

As the restaurant fell silent, upbeat yet mildly sensual music began to play, its source unknown. On cue, Shantae began to dance, swaying her hips back and forth and jerking her torso from side to side the way only she could. Rotty found herself most impressed, if not strangely intrigued. She had never seen a belly dance before, so this was a new spectacle for her to behold. Shantae seemed to sway in time with the music, her movements gradually becoming more complex and more exotic. It captivated Rotty. She couldn't take her eyes off Shantae's navel. Literally. She was mesmerised by it…

Shantae finished her dance to thunderous applause, taking a proud bow before stepping offstage. She had seen Rotty in the crowd and was pleased, both by the fact that Rotty had accepted the half-genie's invitation and that she seemed to appreciate the belly dancing arts. As people started to get up and leave, Shantae made her way over to Rotty's table.

"I didn't think you'd show up." the hero said with a smile. "I wasn't even sure if…" Her smile faltered. "Uh, Rotty?"

Rotty sat motionless in her chair, staring straight ahead. She moaned weakly, drooling out of the corner of her mouth.

Her eyes were swirls.

"Uh-oh…" was all Shantae could say.

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><p>"Sky? Sky! Open up!"<p>

Sky opened the door of her house to see a worried-looking Shantae on her doorstep. The bird tamer was surprised that the half-genie hero wanted to see her so early.

"What's wrong?" Sky asked, her faithful bird Wrench landing on her shoulder.

"I've really done it this time." Shantae said, stepping past Sky into the house and beginning to pace back and forth with a fretful expression. "I've accidentally hypnotised Rottytops with my belly dancing!"

Sky raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding?"

Shantae shook her head. "I've tried everything to bring her out of it. I've snapped my fingers, I've thrown a glass of cold water in her face, I've even tried more belly dancing, but it's no good. I was hoping you might have an idea."

Sky looked thoughtful. "Where is Rottytops now?" she asked.

Shantae gestured at the doorway in time for the entranced Rotty to walk slowly in, still drooling. She moaned eerily.

"Ugh. She really _is_ a zombie now." Sky declared. "Okay, let me try something. Wrench?"

The bird on Sky's shoulder lifted up and flew over to Rotty, perching on her shoulder. It sat motionless for a moment before very suddenly giving Rotty's ear a sharp nip. The pain didn't seem to register. Rotty didn't even blink her swirled eyes.

"Huh." Sky said with a shrug. "I thought a little pain would shock her out of it." She then chuckled. "Well, once a mindless zombie, always a mindless-"

"It's not funny, Sky!" Shantae protested. "I have to fix this!"

"Well, why don't you go see if Bolo has any ideas?"

_And so…_

"Hmm." Bolo said, gazing at the mesmerised zombie with interest. "Strange."

The slow-witted martial artist leaned in close to Rotty's face and, quite suddenly, let out a loud aggressive scream, spraying spit at her in the process. He then frowned.

"Dang. Thought I could scare her out of it."

Shantae rolled her eyes. "That's hiccups, you idiot!"

"Hey, I know you're worried, but don't call me an idiot." Bolo said, folding his arms.

Shantae sighed. "Sorry." she muttered.

"Hey, If you can't snap her out of it, can I have her?" Bolo asked hopefully. "She's hot!"

Shantae rolled her eyes.

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><p>"What am I going to do with you?" Shantae asked glumly as she stared at her entranced friend. She had brought Rotty back to her lighthouse to try and help her. Nothing had worked. It was now evening and Shantae was getting desperate. She started pulling silly faces, making silly noises, trying to make the zombie girl laugh in the hopes it would bring her out of it.<p>

"SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY!" the half-genie shrieked madly. "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU?"

Letting out another sigh, Shantae stepped outside to get some air, trying to clear her head. There had to be a way out of this.

Right then, she heard giggling.

Soft, girlish giggling.

And then she heard someone burst out laughing. Someone inside the lighthouse.

Shantae rushed inside to see Rotty in hysterics, banging her fists on the table and laughing herself silly.

"Oh, man! Best… joke… ever!" she gasped, doubled over with mirth.

"Joke…?" Shantae said, her shock rapidly turning into outrage. "Do you mean to tell me that you've been putting me on?!"

"Of course!" Rotty exclaimed.

"But you were definitely hypnotised!" Shantae insisted. "I saw you! Your eyes were glazed over and everything!"

Rotty tried to regain control of herself. "Well, maybe I was initially hypnotised, but I was brought out of it when you clicked your fingers. After that, I decided to play along and prank you good!"

"But… Your eyes! What about your eyes?"

"Hey, when I ham it up, I really ham it up."

Shantae let out an angry scream. "I OUGHTA BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE JUST SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU!" she roared. This just set off another laughing fit in Rotty.

"Oh, I can't believe you fell for it! Hook, line and total sinker! Hahaha! AAH HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Rotty was actually weeping tears of mirth as she laughed like crazy.

Shantae was about to give the troublesome zombie a piece of her mind (in a metaphorical sense, of course), but she found that she couldn't string the words together.

Then she giggled.

Then she chuckled.

Then she started to laugh.

Rotty's laughter was contagious, apparently. Before she knew it, Shantae was laughing just as hard as Rotty. The two soon fell onto the floor, cackling like silly hyenas.

_'Oh, Rotty, what am I going to do with you?'_ Shantae thought to herself as she laughed.

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><p><strong>Yeah, I know what you're thinking: can't we have one Shantae fanfic that doesn't involve hypnotic belly dancing? Meh. I'm happy with how this chapter turned out. At her core, Rotty is a mischief maker. She's trouble, and that's why the fans all love her. You could even say that she's… Rotty to the core! Get it? And when you think about it, she <em>does<em> look kind of like a cute mermaid in a Halloween costume.**

**Review and I'll send you a mail-order zombie girlfriend. No, not really. Just review! I want to be sure that somebody's actually reading this. I'll have the next chapter ret-2-go soon.**


	4. Sleeping With The Frenemy

**Well, it took me forever, but I finally got another chapter ready! Or should I say ret-2-go?**

**Note: from now on, this story may feature some rather prominent horror themes in between the funny and cute stuff, even though this story isn't actually of the 'Horror' genre. But then, considering that one of the main characters is a zombie, you probably should've expected as much. Anyways, enjoy!**

**Oh, and it has come to my attention that 'Sequin Land' is two words, not just one. I apologise. I was in error.**

4: Sleeping With The Frenemy

Spiderweb Island. Not Shantae's favourite section of Sequin Land by a long shot. Aside from the rather ravaging climate and prominent stench across the island, the place was populated mainly by zombies, most of which were not sentient; they were mindless brain-sucking monsters.

"What a place for a friend of mine to live in!" Shantae exclaimed as another zombie burst out of the ground and tried to bite her. She hair whipped it in the face and it recoiled, growling as the half-genie jogged by, determined to get away. "I can't believe I'm only here to find all the Heart Squids!" She then snorted. "I can just imagine the Squid Baron's reaction if he knew what I was using them for…"

Shantae made her way past the enormous dead tree in the centre of the island, slipping into a hidden cavern. She immediately frowned. Rottytops' wagon was usually parked right here, but it was nowhere to be seen.

"She must've gone for a ride somewhere." the half-genie mused. "I'll stop by her place and ask Abner about it. He might know where she's-"

There was a whoosh and Shantae was immediately alert. She was being watched. There was a crackling sound, as though someone had stepped on brambles. Then there was a soft hissing sound.

"Who's there?" Shantae called sharply. "Show yourself!"

Something flew out of the darkness quite suddenly and Shantae instinctively caught it, immediately wishing she hadn't. She screamed in horror.

She was holding the severed head of Rottytops!

The undead girl's face was frozen in an expression of absolute terror. Shantae dropped the head, completely horrified. The head then nudged against her foot and she screamed louder.

"Peekaboo!" the head cried cheekily, grinning up at Shantae. "Miss me much?"

"What the…? Rotty?!" Shantae gasped, clutching at her heart, her face white.

"You were expecting Risky Boots, perhaps?" Rotty asked playfully. She giggled at the look on Shantae's face. "Don't look so surprised. I'm a zombie. But then I knew you'd freak out. That's why I threw my head at you. Now I can say that I know what a half-genie's scream sounds like! Ha ha ha!"

"Rotty, DON'T EVER DO THAT!" Shantae shrieked. She was actually trembling. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Almost? Shame." Rotty declared. "If I'd planned something a little more freaky, I could've scared you to death and be feasting on your corpse at this moment."

Shantae glared down at the head with a disapproving frown, still shaking.

"Hey, I'm kidding! Chillax!" Rotty said, playfully nudging her, making Shantae step back, still repulsed by the severed head of her frenemy. Really, there was no better word to describe the troublesome zombie girl. "I'm not gonna eat you! Not tonight, anyway. I have other plans."

"Like what? You gonna devour some poor child's brains, perhaps?" Shantae asked bitterly.

It was Rotty's turn to frown. "Well, you don't have to be like that." she said, turning away - a manoeuvre that required her to hop on the spot several times. "I was actually thinking of doing something _nice_ for you, believe it or not. But if you'd rather I just hitchhike until the next bus comes along… Hey, wait. How come we have buses in Sequin Land, but not anything else even remotely advanced? Seriously, I think the most advanced thing we have besides buses is shampoo. Oh, and the Ammo Baron's artillery. And your uncle's prized steam engine, of course. Anyway, it was a real nice thing I could've done for your benefit, but if you'd rather I just… Hang on, I think I'm stuck in a loop."

"You wanted to do something nice for me?" Shantae asked, skeptical. "This isn't just another ruse to eat my brains, is it?"

"No, it's-not-just-another-ruse-to-eat-your-brains-is-it!" Rotty said very fast and very irritably. "Just get outta here, Shantae! If you're going to get sore at me just for having a sense of humour, then maybe our 'friendship' is even less solid than I thought!"

Shantae mentally groaned. _'D'oh! She's made me feel all guilty again! How does she always…? Well, I suppose I could've taken her joke a _little_ better. She _is_ Rottytops, after all. What did I expect?'_ "Alright, Rotty, I'm sorry!" she cried, frustrated. Rotty looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. Shantae sighed. "I'm sorry, alright?" she said more calmly. "I guess I have been a little uptight lately, what with the Pirate Master and that damn Ammo Baron and everything else…" She sighed again, bending down to pick up Rotty's head, holding it… _her_… at eye level. "What did you have in mind?"

"Something fun." Rotty said, more cheerful now that Shantae was being nice to her. "Something in which we can take a load off and really chill out."

Shantae raised an eyebrow of her own. "An undead spa?"

"Nah. The author already used that idea in a non-Shantae-related story that was ultimately deleted."

"Uh, what?"

"I was breaking the fourth wall. Anyway, what I actually had in mind was…"

"Yes?"

"Was…"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Was…"

"Rotty, this isn't a 'suspense' genre fanfic!"

"…A sleepover."

Shantae snorted before she could stop herself. "A sleepover? Seriously?"

"What? I thought it'd be fun!" Rotty insisted. "I mean, think about it, Shantae. You and me are buddies now. Sort of. We never get to hang out. You're always busy saving the world and I'm always busy… Uh…"

"Getting into trouble?" Shantae finished for her, smiling knowingly.

"Whatevs." Rotty muttered, not wanting to press the subject. "So, are you game? It could be fun, you know. It could even be a good way for you to catch up on your sleep. Heck, you could even get ahead."

Shantae blinked.

"You know, get ahead. Get a _head_. Don't you get it? Because I am currently just a head! Oh, come on! Don't tell me you don't get the joke! Laugh a little, Shantae! Come on, laugh! Giggle just a little! Please?"

Shantae just continued to stare blankly at Rotty's head, not amused in the slightest.

"I spent all evening preparing that joke." the zombie girl muttered, pouting.

Shantae tilted her own head, mulling the idea over. It was usually very quiet back at her lighthouse at night, save for when Risky decided to launch an attack. It might be interesting to crash somewhere else for one night… and not have to cook for herself. As she stared at the zombie head that was looking at her so expectantly, the half-genie couldn't help but smile.

"You talked me into it, Rottytops." she declared.

"You mean it?" Rotty asked excitedly, breaking into a huge and rather toothy grin. "Aw, yays! This is going to be a treat, and I ain't talking about Flesh Pops! Come on, let's go!" she cried eagerly, leaping out of Shantae's hands and landing sideways on the damp ground. "Come on, body! Over here!" she called.

Rotty's headless body came staggering out of the shadows, tripping over a rock and landing sprawled out beside the head, which sighed in annoyance.

"Uh, Shantae? Little help?" she pleaded meekly.

* * *

><p>The unlikely pair soon arrived at the house of the Cadaver siblings, Rotty's wagon parked nearby, the skeleton horse sleeping in what Shantae hoped wasn't a pool of its own vomit. Rotty, who had managed to pull herself together (pun intended) with Shantae's help, hurried up to the door on the side of the carriage, reaching into her bra to produce a rusted key with a skull design.<p>

"Yeah, I keep it in there along with the rest of my junk!" she joked as she unlocked the carriage door. Shantae didn't laugh, leaving Rotty to just shrug the silence off before storing the key back where she had retrieved it from and pushing open the door. "Home sweet home!" she said cheerfully as she stepped inside, Shantae following her.

It really was quite nice inside the wagon. it looked kind of like Hagrid's cabin from the _Harry Potter_ movies, only smaller. It had a bed in the corner, a small table with a couple of chairs placed around it, a fireplace with a cauldron hanging within, a bookcase lined with about six or seven books (all of which were battered and noticeably had pages missing), A few pictographs of Rotty and her brothers hanging on the wall and, leaning against the wall right in the furtherest corner, an official Justin Beiber backpack.

"You never saw that!" Rotty cried, quickly snatching up the backpack and stashing it out of sight, her cheeks bright red.

"Hey, I won't judge." Shantae assured her. "You should see what Bolo has hidden in _his_ room."

"I can just imagine!" Rotty exclaimed, cackling. Then her expression turned neutral. "Actually, I can't imagine. Enlighten me."

"I don't know if I should…" Shantae said cautiously, playing with the end of her long purple hair.

"Oh, come on, please? I won't tell."

"Well, he has, and don't ask me how he got them, but he has pictures of Risky Boots."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Without her bra."

"You're joking."

"Nope."

"Blimey… I never figured Bolo for a pervert."

"I try not to think about it too much, lest I decide to turn into an elephant and demolish his house to teach him a lesson about respecting women."

Rotty laughed heartily. "Oh, Shantae, you have the snarky attitude of a full-blooded zombie!"

"Cheers… I think."

"Anyways, you hungry? I've still got some leftover brain pizza. Still fresh, but just barely. It's got mouldy cheese on top."

"Uh…"

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it."

"Well… Okay." Shantae said, smiling. "It's probably about time I ate something other than seafood."

"On that note, let's eat!" Rotty declared, producing two huge slices from the cauldron in the fireplace, offering one to Shantae. It really did look quite disgusting; bits of brain with mouldy cheese on top, all covered in barbecue sauce that smelt a little funny… and not in the 'ha ha' way. Shantae took her slice with a polite "Thank you." and bit into it. It was stone cold and tasted terrible, but she was determined not to pull a face. For all she knew, Rotty had made this culinary abomination herself.

"Good, isn't it?" Rotty asked, her mouth full. "I made this myself."

Shantae felt like she was going to be sick as she forced herself to swallow a large mouthful of cheesy brain, but she managed to smile and give a thumb's up. "Mmm." she responded, trying to look like she was enjoying herself. As soon as Rotty was distracted, however, the half-genie slinked over to the window, pushed it open slightly and threw the revolting pizza slice out into the pouring rain. It soared through the air and a crow with evil red eyes swooped down and caught the undead treat before flying off into the darkness. Shantae hurriedly closed the window and tried her best to act casual as Rotty turned around to face her once more.

"Wow, you ate that fast." Rotty said, surprised. "Wait, you mean you actually like it? No one's ever liked my cooking!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"Well, I found it to be really… something else." Shantae declared nervously.

With a joyful howl, Rotty raced across the room and embraced Shantae in a tight hug. "Oh, you don't know how happy you've made me!" she cried, happy tears in her sunken eyes. One of her eyes was actually pushed slightly out of her socket by the build-up of tears, causing her to look quite horrifying. "Don't eat anything for your next birthday, 'cause I'm going to make you a whole pizza that'll last you the week!"

"Wait, you don't have to…" Shantae began worriedly, but seeing that overjoyed expression on Rotty's face made her heart melt like the mouldy cheese she had just forced herself to inhale. "That's… very sweet of you." she concluded, trying not to start crying herself at the thought of having to eat that much zombie pizza on her birthday. _'Maybe I can give it to Bolo and claim it's a new kind of French toast.'_ she thought desperately.

A short while later, and after playing more games of Cursed Solitaire than Shantae thought she could bear (the bat wings and alien antennas she had sprouted had only just now faded away), the half-genie hero and her irritating yet endearing zombie host decided to hit the hay. There was just one problem.

There was only one bed.

"I call the right half!" Rotty chirped, leaping onto the bed and shuffling over so she was close to the wall. Shantae hadn't been prepared for this. The dinner and the sleepover games were one thing, but sleeping togeth- No, Shantae couldn't stand to let her brain finish processing that concept. Sharing a bed? (Yes, that sounded better.) That was a bit much!

"What's wrong?" Rotty asked, noticing that Shantae was standing there looking uncomfortable. The zombie girl then smiled knowingly. "Oh, I know what's wrong." she said, her tone teasing. "You're worried I might try some kind of hanky panky."

"What?! That's not…!" Shantae protested, blushing madly. "That's not what I was thinking at all!"

"Then why are you blushing?"

"Because I… I… Because I always blush before bed! I mean _brush!_ Brush before bed! My teeth, that is! And my hair!"

Rotty sat up and stared at the half-genie hero with her head tilted, her expression unreadable, but nonetheless adorable. "Shantae, Shantae, Shantae… You don't have to be all shy and homophobic around me. We're both mature, sensible girls who- TICKLE FIGHT!" she shouted suddenly, leaping at Shantae before our hero knew what was happening and tackling her to the floor.

"What the…?! Rotty?!" Shantae cried as the mischievous zombie started to tickle her all over.

"Couldn't resist! The opportunity was too perfect!" Rotty declared, grinning evilly as she moved from tickling Shantae's underarms to unleashing an all-out tickle assault on the half-genie's ribs. Poor Shantae was giggling like crazy.

"Rottytops, stop!" Shantae gasped, squirming helplessly; Rotty was just too strong. "STOP!" she cried, letting out a huge bout of laughter, unable to hold it back. Rotty just kept working along Shantae's body, trying to find her most ticklish spot. Her eyes trailed to the half-genie's feet and she began to prise the red shoes off Shantae's feet.

"Oh, no!" Shantae cried worriedly, realising where Rotty was now at. "Rotty, please don't!" she pleaded as Rotty got the shoes off. "DON'T!" Shantae screamed, the scream quickly followed by what were positively howls of uncontrollable laughter as Rotty tickled the soles of the poor hero's feet for all it was worth. Shantae managed to roll over and started banging her fists on the wooden floor in protest.

"My, we _are_ ticklish, aren't we?" Rotty said, grinning wickedly.

"Please!" Shantae laughed. "No more!"

"Are you going to beg for mercy?" Rotty asked cheekily.

"What? No way!"

"Alright then." Rotty said with a shrug, continuing to tickle Shantae's feet.

"Okay! OKAY!" Shantae howled, still laughing like crazy. "Mercy! Mercy from here to Tan Line Island!"

"Hey, that's a good idea. We should go back there sometime." Rotty mused as she released Shantae, who collapsed on the floor, panting. "Those outfits were really…"

"Revealing?" Shantae said breathlessly.

"Actually, I was going to say 'cool'." Rotty admitted.

"You know… what else… is cool?"

"What?"

"THIS!" Shantae cried, leaping up, knocking Rottytops over and pinning her down. "Ha! Ret-2-tickle!"

"AH, CRAP!" Rotty cried. "Not under the arms!" she pleaded, clamping her arms frimly to her sides.

"Oh, but that's the beautiful part." Shantae said mischievously. "You're a zombie. If your arms are in the way, I can just… _remove_ them!" she declared, ripping off Rotty's right arm and proceeding to tickle her weak point with nothing stopping her. She then ripped off the other arm, tossing them both aside and giving the zombie girl the tickle torture of her life.

"Foul! FOUL!" Rotty shrieked, desperately trying to get away, but Shantae wasn't having any of it. She was getting Rotty back, and it felt good. Maybe a little too good. That's why she only continued for two minutes and then relented, both girls resting for a moment before working together to reattach Rotty's arms.

_A few minutes later…_

The wagon door burst open and Abner stood there. "I thought I heard shouting before, so I came to make sure that you two were fine." he said before noticing that Shantae and Rotty had dozed off, sprawled out on the narrow bed right next to each other, their arms overlapping, Shantae's ponytail spread over Rotty's eyes like a sleeping mask. They looked so cute sleeping there, but Abner just rolled his eyes. "Teenagers these days…" he muttered, closing the door and walking away.

* * *

><p><strong>I just had to have a Shantae and Rotty tickle fight. The concept was just too priceless to me! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you'd like to see in the next chapter!<strong>

**The sleepover idea was requested by KnightSpark, but I already had the idea in mind. Great minds think alike! Like I said, feel free to make chapter requests. See ya soon.**


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